The Lost LOD Footage
by Sicanasda
Summary: Ok, the making of Legend of Dragoon. Tell me if you want to see more and I'll try to think up more.


Bwahahahaha! I'm back, and this time, I'm writing bloopers! Anyway, just read and tell me what you think. There may be more later, if I ever get around to thinking of more. But for now, just tell me what you think. Oh yes, these don't have any particular order in the game.

Disclaimer: I disclaim any characters from Legend of Dragoon. Sony owns them and no, I don't own Sony either.

(Scene where Dart first becomes a dragoon)

Dart begins to transform into a dragoon.

Dart: (Looks at his wings) Whoa! Where did these come from? Wait a sec'. They're on fire! (He flies around in circles until he crashes into a wall)

Director: Cut! Dart, you're the fire dragoon! What do you expect?!

Dart: Twinkle, twinkle little star. (He falls flat on his face)

(Random battle at the Divine Tree)

Director: Ok, Dart, we need a shot of your Flame Shot spell.

Dart begins the spell and throws his sword into the air.

Dart: Flame Sh… (His sword hits a virage and it crashes into Dart before beating Dart to a pulp.)

Director: Cut! Animal Control!

Dart throws his sword into the air.

Stage crewmember: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! (He falls from catwalk)

Dart: Sorry about that. Let me get my sword and I'll leave you alone. (He pulls the sword from the man)

Dart throws his sword in the air and closes his eyes, waiting for something to die or beat the crap out of him. Nothing happens.

Dart: Cool! Flame (His sword comes back down and hits him) Ow!

Director: (He bangs his head on his clipboard many times) Cut, Cut, Cut, Cut, Cut… 

(Eight hours later)

Director: Cut, Cut, Cut, Cut!!!! (He looks around and only sees Shana.) Where is everybody?!

Shana: Meru is playing poker with Haschel and Kongol. Funny too, they don't have any money, so they said they would play strip poker. Meru was losing at the very beginning. Miranda's in the dressing room, making some weird noises and has a vibrating sound with her. Albert got drunk and got the crap beat out of him and is sleeping under your chair. Dart and Rose are in that closet over there. Lloyd is having a drinking bout with Zieg and Lavitz. Everyone else is outside, dressed up like prostitutes. You should see Doel in that outfit.

Director: (Looks under his chair and sees Albert. He then bangs his head on the clipboard and knocks himself unconscious.)

(Scene where the group fights Kongol the second time)

Kongol: Kongol strongest of Gigantos! Kongol invincible!

Rose: Really? (She pokes Kongol with her sword.)

Kongol: Argh! Blood everywhere! Me die! (He puts his hands over his heart and falls over. His foot twitches.)

Director: Kongol, get up.

Kongol: Kongol can't get up. Kongol dead.

Director: I have donuts for living people. (Kongol jumps to his feet, knocks out the director, and runs off with the donuts.)

(Scene on the balcony during the party at Fletz)

Dart: You're beautiful. (Rose runs out and smacks Dart.)

Director: Rose, it's his line!

Rose: Oh, I'm sorry Dart. Does it hurt? Looks like we need to use the closet to fix it. (She leads Dart into the closet.)

Director: What just happened?

Dart: You look beautiful. (Rose is heard cursing in the background.)

Shana: It's just the dress.

Dart: You got that right. It opens up just enough on the chest that…

Shana: (She slaps Dart.) Pervert!

Director: Dart, at least act like you actually love this girl.

Dart: What! Love… Shana?! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Director: Let's just skip to the shooting star.

Dart: Fine, but I want my stunt double for the kiss. (All his stunt doubles suddenly call in sick.) Nooo!!!

Director: Action!

Shana: Look! A shooting star! Make a wish! (They make a wish. Shana suddenly trips over her dress and falls into the sea.)

Dart: Yes! My wish came true!

Director: Dart, go get her!

(Scene in the cave after Dart and Rose fall off the Queen's Fury)

Rose puts Dart's head on her lap.

Rose: They are so mu…

Dart: Ooh baby, you know I like it like that.

Rose: Um, cut?

Director: Right.

Pete's dog runs into the cave. It quickly whimpers and runs out. Pete walks into the cave.

Pete: Woah, that's not right! Put that away. 

Dart and Rose walk out of the cave.

Everybody: Oh man, that's just sick! 

Dart: What?! (He takes another bite of pizza with extra anchovies.)

(Random battle)

Director: Dart, use Blazing Dynamo.

Dart begins the move and starts doing all sorts of flips and spins. His sword flies out of his hands and smashes into the camera, causing it to go out.

Director: &^$&# Dart!!! Get back here! (A loud yell is heard.)

Dart: Uh, guys. I think we might need a new director.

(Lunch break)

????: Hi, I'm the new director, Bill.

Everyone: Hi Bill.

Bill: So, um, what's everyone doing?

Meru: I think we're all eating. Let me check. (She counts each person.) Wait! Someone's missing!

Dart: What do you men? (He counts each person as well.) She's right!

Bill: There are ten of you, right?

Lloyd: Yeah.

Bill: Well, I count ten.

Meru: What are you talking about? I'm too pretty to make a mistake. See, Dart, Lavitz, Shana, Rose, Haschel, Lloyd, Albert, Kongol, and Miranda. Nine. 

Bill: But what about Meru?

Meru: Yay! I found myself!

Dart: Wow! A smart director! $5.00 to see the smart director!

(Flame Shot spell… again)

Bill: Ok. Dart, try Flame Shot.

Dart throws his sword, making sure not to hit anything.

Dart: Flame…

Shana: Hey Dart!  
Dart: Shot! (He turns to see what Shana wanted. The fireball flies at Bill before it fries Bill.) Yeah Shana?  
Shana: I was going to tell you to watch where you were aiming.

Dart: (He notices Bill.) Oh, sorry Bill.

????: I'm Bob. I'm another director.

Rose: (She whispers to Shana) $5.00 say Dart kills this one too.

Dart: I heard that! The first guy, um, maybe that wasn't and accident. But Bill was!

Rose: I didn't mean anything bad.

Dart: (He starts crying) Yes you did! I'll be in my trailer! (Turns around and crashes into a metal pole.) Where did all the little stars come from?

(Scene when Dart fights Lloyd in the tournament)

Dart runs at Lloyd and slices.

Lloyd: (He moves out of the way) Too slow.

Dart: Don't start that too slow crap! (He stabs Lloyd.)

Lloyd dies.

Dart: Not to slow now, am I?

Lloyd is still dead.

Dart: Who's the master?!

Lloyd, for those of you who forget easily, is still dead.

Bob: Dart, you weren't supposed to win.

Dart: Don't tell me to lose to him! (Dart chops Bob in half.)

Shana: Dang! (She hands Rose $5.00)

Shana: Our new director is named Brad.

Brad: Let's try the scene again now that we brought Lloyd back to life somehow. Action!

Lloyd: Enough of this. (He does his finishing move)

Dart: You missed?! How can you miss if I'm so slow?!

Lloyd: I'll kill you for that! (Lloyd throws his sword too the side and Dart does the same.)

Lloyd punches Dart and a cloud billows around them as they fight.

Brad: Does this usually happen?

Shana: Yep.

Lloyd: Hold on! Wait a sec'! Nose bleed! (Lloyd runs off stage with his finger under his nose.)

Brad: Why do you pick on him?

Dart: Shut up! (He knocks Brad unconscious.) Oops.

(Scene where Rose and Dart hang on to the Queens Fury)

????: (Arnold Swartsa… Schrartsa… Can't spell it. You know what voice I'm talking about.) My name is Mr. Buff. I am too strong for your girly man, Dart, to kill. 

Rose: (Whispers) I bet Dart can find a way.

Mr. Buff: Places! Action you girly people!

Rose: (She grabs Dart's hand.) Oh wait! I just washed my hands! They're still… (Dart slips out of her hands.) slippery.

Mr. Buff: You girly people screwed up!

Dart: (He crawls out of the water.) You call me girly one more time…

Mr. Buff: You are very girly!

Dart: Who you calling girly?! 

Just then, the camera runs out of film. When it is replaced, Mr. Buff is lying on the ground, more or less dead.

Rose: I didn't like him much.

Dart: Why did you wash your hands right before you needed a good grip?

Rose: You would've gotten wet anyway.

 ????: Hi! I'm your new director, Titus. Woah! (He trips over his feet and falls into the water and drowns.)

Dart: Um, I thought it was my job to kill the director.

Rose: This one was too stupid to let you.

Redblaze: Ok, seeing as Dart has killed every director thus far…

Dart: I did not kill Titus!

Redblaze: You're right, but you would have been given the chance. I have decided to run this production.

Rose: (Whispers) Dart, don't kill this one.

Dart: Why not?

Meru: Duh! He's even cuter than you!

Dart: Can we just get on with the scene?

Redblaze: Right. Places everyone. Action!

Dart: You got to live! Let go!

Rose: Hmm, I really don't want to get wet, so… Ok. (She drops Dart.)

(Scene in the Death Frontier)

Dart: (Grumbling under his breath) This is stupid. Why are we walking through a desert? And what is that smell?!

Kongol: (Bright red with embarrassment) Sorry.

Redblaze: Kongol, what did you have for dinner last night?

Kongol: Kongol have chilidogs, corn beef and cabbage.

Dart: Does anyone have a very large plug? 

Dart is grumbling again about walking through a desert when he falls through one of those stupid sand pools.

Dart: And who the hell put these here?! (A large pile of sand falls on him.) What the… (One of those big sandworms falls on him.)

Rose: Uh, aren't you going to stop this?

Redblaze: (He grins as a very big truck falls on Dart.) No. I think I'll just enjoy this for a while. (A piece of the Titanic hits Dart, followed by a UFO with several confused aliens.)

(Scene when the group gets out of the stream in the Divine Tree)

Redblaze: Ok. People, jump out… now!

Dart jumps out, followed by the rest of the group, except Kongol.

Redblaze: Um, Kongol? Where is he?

There is a muffled sound form the stream.  
Kongol: Kongol stuck! Me eat too many donuts!

Redblaze: I'm beginning to wonder about the sanity of this group.

Redblaze is seen paying Meru, who is handing him a tape label, 'Lost LOD Footage'. Um, I was just paying off my… sources. Um, anyway, I hope you thought these were funny. If I get good reviews, I will add more to this collection. Until next time, this is Redblaze, signing off. 


End file.
